This is the spoiler-free version of my review of Sweet Valley Confidential: I hate it. I don’t care about the poor quality of writing and the grammatical errors that should’ve been picked up by an editor. I don’t even care that it’s ridiculously trashy. I do, however, care that there is no respect at all shown for the characters that so many people out there love, often against their better judgement.

The twins are all wrong. Bruce is unrecognisable. Lila is barely present. Cara makes me want to cry. Enid has a serious case of the WTFs. Todd doesn’t make me want to punch him, so he must be the most OOC of them all 😀 Seriously, this wasn’t a ten-years-on affair, it was a complete AU, in which all of the characters are replaced by doppelgangers with the same names but completely different personalities.

We’re told about a thousand times that Elizabeth is perfect in this book, but I found her even more obnoxious than she was in the Senior Year and Elizabeth series.

Oh, and Pascal should be banned from writing about gay relationships. I’ve read slash fanfic written by 13yo straight girls that felt more authentic than this. I actually have much greater reservations than that, but due to spoilers, they’ll be restricted to my SVH blog.

Finally, the continuity errors in this book were many and inexcusable. If you want to ignore all canon other than SVH canon, that’s fine – and is what happened in several of the series. But getting the actual SVH canon wrong is just plain lazy. Steven is not a year older than the twins. Bruce is. IT’S NOT THAT HARD.